the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
