How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
