we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
