Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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