i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
