omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The Olympian is in my bed
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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