I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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