She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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