you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
