I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
