No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
