I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You're so nebulous sometimes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
