just tell him i said nine months
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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