is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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