Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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