this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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