Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
