You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
