His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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