This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How does one acquire holy water?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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