Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
