Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
