thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
