God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
