yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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