"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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