fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
