I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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