OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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