Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
