it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
