She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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