I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
