i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
