he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
