I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
