you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
