sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
