My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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