You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
