oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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