return my video game
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
