so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
