I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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