ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
