in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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