After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
