I can tuck mytits in my pants
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
