no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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