I just threw up on my dentist
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
