I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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