I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
