She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
