Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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